Stories

For me, LeadON! has been this incredible opportunity to actually gain the confidence I need to make positive changes. I’ve met people and made connections that have broadened my mind and pushed my life forward. I participated in workshops during the conference that were very, very far out of my comfort zone, and found myself actually enjoying being out of my “box”. I got to listen to speakers who were so powerful their messages still stick with me. I heard my peers tell stories about the rough parts of their own life, which made me brave enough to do the same. Yes, it’s a lot for only a few days! The most empowering part of LeadON! was the way everyone, the speakers, the adults, and the youth, spoke openly about a wide range of topics. I believe that positive change begins within ourselves and grows outward, and talking honestly about what we want to change is the first step. LeadON! gave me the chance to do that. While I may not always have the words to describe how LeadON! has influenced me, maybe that is actually what has given me the power to show the world what leadership is, instead of simply trying to slap a definition on it. We define it in our actions, every day. That’s what LeadON! has really shown me.

While arriving in India I didn’t know exactly what to expect. It was a tough challenge at first because I was being put into a country without knowing the language, wearing different clothes, eating new foods, and I would have to say a majority of everything I was used to was different or opposite. When I arrived at the mission I was greeted by 140 loving smiling blind, deaf, and mute girls. My work there started immediately upon my arrival. I taught them a wide variety of new skills like beading, yarn crafts, English, hygiene, cooking, painting, and more. The girls have never lived with a foreigner so it was a new and beneficial experience to all. I’m so thankful I was able to volunteer in a girl’s blind, deaf, and mute orphanage/school in Suryapur India for two months. It has definitely made me a better person and has enriched the girls’ lives. It has built a whole new dimension to how I see myself as a leader. I’m so glad my heart was molded into the way it was and that I always want to lend a helping hand.

One day, maybe two years ago, we, my father and I were talking on the phone about my performance that he was suppose to come to, but like always, failed to attend and let me down. He gave me excuse after excuse about how he wasn't feeling like being around people, or he had other things he had to worry about. As his child I felt like I was put on the back burner and forgotten about; Support from him would have done me a lot of good that day. I was highly irritated with him, he started cussing at me, and calling me vulgar names...and that's what made me stand up for myself. I was never the type of girl to let someone talk down to me, or disrespect me, so being that strong minded young lady my mother has molded me to be...I spoke up! "You will not speak to me any kind of way you want to, if you can't talk to me in a decent way then I don't want to speak to you at all !" And with those last words, he called me one last name, and hung up. I fell to the floor crying, wondering how a father could hurt his own daughter like that, my heart was broken, and my love for him had turned into heated rage! Calling my mom and telling her what happened through my tears she comforted me, and reassured me that I did the right thing standing up for myself and letting a man know how he is to treat me, even if that man was my father. The days following this event I grew proud of myself; with the feeling of pride being carried around in heart, I felt as if I had found a new side to me. Standing up for myself regardless of who was trying to tear me down, was me finding respect for myself.

I should already know this because my parents are in the military. I guess I did know that respect was important, but not how it would be the main foundation or "glue" to relationships for families, friends, boyfriend & girlfriend relationships, even business relationships for example; finding a job. I used to not pay attention to how the little things can show respect and how it could make life easier. For example, common sense should tell you to tie your shoes, but I did not think of it as respect. Why would I need to respect my shoe? It’s an object that is used for walking . This didn't hit me until I was trying to apply for a job at foot locker and the hiring manager asked if I respected myself , "yes" I replied , and then he looked at my shoes and they were untied . A minor mistake cost me a job in which I could have benefited from …and bought some more shoes. After that and over the years, I have thought about other kinds of respect and have decided that nobody has the right to treat someone with disrespect for any reason, so why do so ? This is especially true for boyfriend and girlfriends, why else should you be in a relationship if you are not being good to each other? Ultimately the more I think about respect, I know it’s the right thing to do. I think about how I can make sure that I give and get respect in all my relationships.

PYLI kind of reminded me of school, except it was really cool and we did some hard core frolicking. It surprised me how close people had gotten in the end because it only lasted for one school week. But, I guess this was because of the activities we did. They really made us easier around each other and be able to trust one another. During one of my favorite activities we separated into small groups. In mine we had Austin, Jack and Rosemary. We were supposed to draw what we thought a community looked like, we did some skits and we had fun. Earlier, like a minute ago, I talked about one way of how many of us made friends at PYLI. Another way to make friends, hypothetically, is to have some teenage dude randomly decide to step on your lunch. Hey, I'm just saying it could happen. Anyway, it was really amazing on the last day there because we were able to use everything we learned and help our community by either playing with kids at the Salvation Army McKinnell House outside, or by organizing truckloads of canned food for the needy. Either way you had fun. So, in the end, this was a great learning experience. I definitely learned a lot, and I'd have to say that PYLI has changed my life for the better. Maybe you should think about joining PYLI.

As the representative of Anchorage I go to foster parent trainings, CASA (court appointed special advocate ?) trainings, participate in teleconferences with the rest of the board and keep in touch with members from Anchorage. By sharing my story to others I am able to educate others in a healthy way and allow my voice to be heard. To help my community become a better place I feel it is my job to help foster youth in finding homes and a better place in their lives. In educating others it creates the chance for change in the foster care system. Myself and members of the group have also been involved in helping foster care reform in the legislation. One way I am most fond of expressing myself and having my voice heard and others voices heard is by writing. During my 11th and 12th grade years in High School I wrote articles on foster care and what I thought being a mature young adult was about. I feel that what I am doing will help make a positive change in my community and in the lives of the people in my community. As long as I am doing that I will be happy.

The other day one of my really good friends starting yelling and shouting at his girlfriend and calling her all kinds of names. I was kind of surprised because I had never seen him like this before. To tell you the truth, I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know what to say. I knew that I should do something but what? So, I didn’t do anything. Later, I must have been thinking about it again so I mentioned it to my brother when I got home. He told me that I needed to tell me friend what I thought and I remembered the golden rule. I didn’t know how to bring it up but when I asked my friend what happened yesterday he started putting his girlfriend down. I let him know that I really believed in the golden rule. We talked about this for a while and he asked me why I was taking her side. It was about respect. We never really talked about this again and I never saw him treat her that way again. I thought maybe I had helped to build respect.

Unfortunately, I learned about respect and relationships the hard way through not having it in my previous relationship. My first boyfriend was not respectful at all and brought me down so much. I was with this boyfriend for two years and they were very hard years of my life. I sometimes wish I had never gone through those years but I know they have made me into a stronger person. My parents have not had the perfect relationship either so I did not really know what a great happy relationship ever looked liked. My relationship with my first boyfriend began in high school when I first moved to my town I like to call home. We seemed to like each other so we went out on our first date. Everything seemed ok at first but even after the first few weeks he started pressuring me into trying new stuff, mostly sexually. I of course gave in and he then took more and more advantage of me. As I write this it just hurts me to think about this stuff but I want part of my story to be told. He would always say if you like me you will do this for me. Another way he got me to stay with him is saying that I was too high maintenance and no one else would ever be able to put up with me. My ex still walks the streets of my hometown. I never got the cops involved and still debate all the time if I should or not because I am so afraid. Flashbacks of the cruel evil things he did to me still cross my mind every day. I am so thankful that I have been able to begin to heal from the pain that my ex had put into my life and now I can build a very healthy relationship with a person who wants to be in a healthy relationship and wants a real girlfriend. It seems to be opposite of the life I had once lived.